Is this what we all really want? To go back to 'normal' life again? Sounds good but many people have found a 'new normal' and are happy with that. Should we not be learning and moving forward instead?
We cannot underestimate the misery that this horrible virus has brought upon so many people. Loved ones have been lost and people's livelihoods destroyed. However, as restrictions are lifted, do we actually want our old lives back? Or do we move forward taking from this experience the positives and re-evaluating the things we took for granted?
Get Mentally Healthy conducted a survey, during lockdown, on the effects of social distancing. Of the 71 participants, who were over 18 years of age, the majority working, in a relationship and with children, 75% felt there had been positive consequences on their home and personal relationships. This is significant and should not be ignored.
Many of us stepped off the treadmill for a while and began spending more time at home. With less time lost travelling to and from work we spent more time with partners and children. And it seems this has been a positive experience for many people. In my own psychology practice I was surprised to see an improvement, almost without exception, in couple relationships and sometimes couples who had come to therapy on the verge of separation.
This begs the question, is 'normal' necessarily good? What does it actually mean?
The dictionary definition of normal is 'something usual, ordinary, and expected.'
We often hear ourselves and others questioning 'is that normal, what is normal?' Who defines this? It is that not so long ago homosexuality was deemed 'not normal' that heterosexuals were normal and homosexuals 'queer'; meaning strange and not normal! There are very few people who could subscribe to this view nowadays. Individuals on the high-functioning autistic spectrum are often described as 'atypical', and compared to 'neurotypicals'. I am not sure this is particularly healthy either.
'Normal' may be a useful construct if we're talking about body temperature but when applying this to socially constructed norms perhaps this is less helpful. Are we running the risk of continuing with certain behaviours because we assume 'normal' is good and therefore do not challenge or investigate their efficacy?
Let's have the discussion about 'what is good for us' and not 'what is 'normal'.
It's probably not healthy for a generation of young, single people to be forced to spend too much time alone. Working in front of computer screens all day and socialising on Zoom. But equally, is it healthy to be wasting precious time commuting to and from work each day? Sitting in traffic jams or on crowded trains? Polluting the air and spreading disease? This is time we could spend exercising, enjoying nature and being with friends and family.
Let's re-evaluate intelligently. Before managers insist that employees can now return to work each day and conversely that they can save office space and remain alone at home. Let us give this more thought. Research should be conducted, we must learn and move forward with an expansive mindset, not one that wishes to return to normal assuming that normal was healthy and good. We have, with Covid-19, accidentally experienced a huge social experiment from which it would be shameful to not collect the data.
And perhaps the biggest lesson of all from this pandemic... that 'normal' should be questioned regularly. Don't wait until a crisis hits.